At this very moment, some 3 million Canadians are suffering from depression. I am one of them. In fact, I can promise you I am only one of many people you know who has been afflicted by this horrible mental illness. 1 in 5 of us will actually suffer some form of mental illness in our lives. The saddest part? 2 out 3 will suffer in silence; mostly out of fear and rejection associated with mental illness.
Mental health problems and illnesses cost the Canadian economy upwards of $50 billion a year; and during any given week, 500,000 Canadians will not go to work because of mental illness. Many suffer like I do, from varying degrees of depression and anxiety, but another 22% of the population suffer from mood disorders. Those of us with severe mental health problems will die up to 25 years earlier than those in the general population who are mentally well. Suicide now accounts for the deaths of 24% of adolescents from 15-24, and 16% of people aged 25-44. These should all be eye opening facts.
It can be a struggle, when you suffer from any sort of mental health problem. Especially if you’re suffering in silence or are not able to get the proper help you need. My mental health has been in a huge downward spiral for the last few months. And while I would never end my life because I have three amazing boys who I adore more than anything that need a mother, there are more and more days now that I simply don’t want to be alive. That’s a brutally honest statement to make, and I apologize if you’re taken aback by it. But I can’t suffer in silence because it’s just too absolutely draining to keep it all in. And I’m hoping, like I always do when I blog so openly, that if you’re reading this and suffering in silence, you’ll take steps to get help. Your mental health is important.
Things got really bad for me last week, and I took steps to do what I could to try and get immediate help. I called the mental health crisis line, I got myself to the Waterford. I didn’t get any immediate help. In fact, it ended up being a three hour wait to see a doctor for 7 minutes who honestly didn’t seem too concerned for the state of my mental health. It’s really sad that in this day and age a person has to feel so helpless and at the end of their rope, and not be able to get the proper help without a run around waiting game. I only manage to find the mental fortitude to get through because I have an amazing support system of people who allow me to tell them exactly how I’m feeling. SO many people out there don’t have that; they’re left feeling alone and isolated like there’s nowhere to turn. If you ever feel this way, please reach out to me. I am always here to listen. I understand what it’s like to feel like you do. And you are far from alone, I can assure you.
I celebrated 3 months of being smoke free yesterday. A huge milestone – one I wanted to acknowledge with a cigarette, no less. I sometimes wonder if quitting smoke while feeling so horrible was the best choice, but I need to give myself major props for getting through some pretty stressful moments in the last little while without lighting up a DuMaurier. But even right now, I’d fucking eat one for breakfast. But they say 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months are those important checkpoints to hit. And I’ve successfully got that last one under my belt. I’ve gained 4 days on my life expectancy, and with any luck, my depression and anxiety will be under control again soon enough so that I can start enjoying those extra days life has in store.
Not wanting to live is no life worth living, I can tell you that. Today is the most important day of the year for spreading the message about mental health, and raising awareness, and most importantly, stopping the stigma STILL associated with it. This might have been a hard read for you, but if you’ve learned something, or gained an appreciation for those of us suffering, or realize that you need to reach out and get help, then my mission has been accomplished. Do what you gotta do today. Talk, text, tweet. Hashtag the shit out of #BellLetsTalk. There’s millions of us across the country counting on you.
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